Life Changing

Hey guys ,

Almost a year ago I met the love of my life  but I didn't know it yet.

I moved in with him because I was in a very bad place and he has a very big and loving heart. We talked for hours at a time and some times our conversations wpuld last for days. I never trusted some one so fast... We never officially dated till August 7th, 2016.

... i dont want to post this on social media so I guess I'll just post it here....

Early May I found out i was pregnant.
It was a boy. I called him little fucker because he would always move in the worst spots and it would hurt so badly.
When I was 38 weeks pregnant i suddenly had very high blood pressure. It scared my doctor enough to allow them to decide that they would make me have an induction that Friday.

Friday comes and im scared. I dont know what is going to happen all i knew was that I was going to be in a lot of pain.
I get there , they take me to my room , and ask me to change into one of those gown thingies. They walk out and let me change then they come back in and hook me up to some fluids. They told me the doctor would be in soon and not to eat or drink anything. SO I wait.... and wait.... and wait some more. The Doctor was called to an emergency so it took a lot longer.... about 4 hours of me just sitting and waiting he finally comes in. He checks everything and gives me a tiny pill to help push me in to labor.
For hours later he comes back in and says that he is going to try something else. So they put this balloon inside me.... that didn't work.... i fell asleep for about 30 minuets, i woke up to doctors and nurses all around me all talking at once. I was in shock and just froze as they hooked me up to new fluids and checked me again.
The babys heart rate had dropped extremely low and it scared them.

I ended up having a C-section at 12:00 pm Saturday afternoon....

It was strange... from the top of my stomach to the very tips of my toes , completely numb. They take the baby and clean him up and all that jazz.
They take me to the recovery room and told me I'd be in there for about an hour. Well it ended up being almost 4 hours.

Mind you i stayed numb till about 7 or 8 pm that night.

I was so shaky for such a long time. It was caused by the medicine and the shock i was in. I didnt see my little fucker till late that night simply because I knew I wasn't going to keep him...

I had found a couple that couldn't have kids at all and i wanted to help them. So I chose them to adopt my son.

His little face , blue eyes, and such a cute smile... it  killed me to sign the papers.
Everyone told me that they would help me take care of him ...but when I saw my little fucker with the couple i knew i was making the right choice. I know people will hate me for it but... oh well

Needless to say... i love him with my entire heart and that will never change.