Upside-down

I know i havent posted in a while... thing got reslly crazy all the sudden...

As all of you know i hate myself  but as of late its gotten worse... i dont have time to think about myself anymore seeing as i have a boy growing inside me... yeah.... im pregnant.

As of right now im not keeping him.
I have found a family that im trying to get in touch with. They seem like a good family i just want to meet them first.

Not many people know unless they see me in public. He is growing so fast.
I feel so ashamed of it but at the same time i dont.
Im scared to tell people because im tired of being shunned all the time....
Even some of my family have stopped talking to me...
This has completely turned my life upside-down and people wonder why i seem different... feeling him kik makes me happy but sad at the same time because i know i cant keep him....
Like i always tell myself , it will be okay

I hope everyone has a good night..
   Bekca <3