Safe place

I've been thinking a lot lately and I know that most of you will say "I didn't know you could think!"(haha) but oh well. Think what you want. 

Everyone has that safe place that they go to when they are lonely , upset , angry , depressed , ect 

I've noticed that I don't have one anymore... 

When I was little it was being with my sister. She was everything to me. If I wasn't with her then I wasn't myself. I moved out of the house about a year ago  so now she and I rarely talk. We both work a lot and just don't have time. 

When i was 13 it was being in my room. 

I could go into my room and lock the door and be happy and safe. My room isn't my old room and I don't feel safe in it...

When I was 16 it was taking a Blade to my skin... It helped me cope and doing it made it hard for people to hurt me.... 

People found out that I did it and now I'm trying to stop. 

 Almost 19 And I feel like I can't do anything to feel safe and secure again....

It's starting to get really sad...

I don't know what to do with myself in my free time if I have any... All i know is that I want to be safe... But I just can't seem to get that feeling back 

Bekca <3