....
Life is getting harder as I get older ... I think i just want to know that i'm going to be happy and safe
.... I want to feel safe so badly... - I miss being a little girl , I never had any worries , never second guessed myself , always lived for that moment , always felt safe - I miss it .... all of it , i was so stupid when i was a child , but every minute was worth it.
This year has just started and I've cried for about 30 seconds ... twice ... I have cried this much in a long time , yeah i know that sounds weird , but i'm ....I..... I just have a harder time showing people that i'm sad . And i'm good at not showing that... cause i'm always sad (life)
I know that i need help , like ... counseling ..or something but every time some one says that I need it ... they're joking .. cause they think i'm okay , happy , good , ect. ..... I just look down and say *you have no idea* . Then they laugh and i just walk way like i agree ... but i also just want to cry cause ... yeah .. it hurts a little when people say that to me.
--------------------
^-(this post was a draft that i never got back to .... I wrote it last year .)-^
This year i am proud to say that i'm safe , but sadly i'm not happy .
I got counseling . I've cried so much more . I used to cut .
I don't eat much anymore . and i have one friend.
There are people that claim to be my friend ... but none have helped my like a real friend should.
I'm 18 now and life has gotten so much easier .
I moved out , i have two jobs . I'm saving up for a car .
AND !!!!
i get hit on more then i ever thought i would !
it's SO weird ! A guy ,that walks past one of my works , ask me for my number !!!!!!
I said that i was too busy and that i couldn't right now .
Hahah , oh gosh . It was so weird !
he's cute but he has a weird/creepy smile ... but i kinda like it ... how weird ... hmmm
ANYWAY !
I'm sitting in chick-fal-a like i always do . in the corner looking at my laptop writing all this down because i need to keep my mind off of depressing things .
(by the way some really hot guy just walked in ... hehehe and i can stare at him just for the fun of it .... red hair , gray ripped shirt ... old ripped shorts ... dannnngggg hehehhe)
So i thank you . All of you .
and i thank thing damn blog company ! hahahha i would feel a little more dead if i didn't have it ^_^
---------
Bekca <3
Life is getting harder as I get older ... I think i just want to know that i'm going to be happy and safe
.... I want to feel safe so badly... - I miss being a little girl , I never had any worries , never second guessed myself , always lived for that moment , always felt safe - I miss it .... all of it , i was so stupid when i was a child , but every minute was worth it.
This year has just started and I've cried for about 30 seconds ... twice ... I have cried this much in a long time , yeah i know that sounds weird , but i'm ....I..... I just have a harder time showing people that i'm sad . And i'm good at not showing that... cause i'm always sad (life)
I know that i need help , like ... counseling ..or something but every time some one says that I need it ... they're joking .. cause they think i'm okay , happy , good , ect. ..... I just look down and say *you have no idea* . Then they laugh and i just walk way like i agree ... but i also just want to cry cause ... yeah .. it hurts a little when people say that to me.
--------------------
^-(this post was a draft that i never got back to .... I wrote it last year .)-^
This year i am proud to say that i'm safe , but sadly i'm not happy .
I got counseling . I've cried so much more . I used to cut .
I don't eat much anymore . and i have one friend.
There are people that claim to be my friend ... but none have helped my like a real friend should.
I'm 18 now and life has gotten so much easier .
I moved out , i have two jobs . I'm saving up for a car .
AND !!!!
i get hit on more then i ever thought i would !
it's SO weird ! A guy ,that walks past one of my works , ask me for my number !!!!!!
I said that i was too busy and that i couldn't right now .
Hahah , oh gosh . It was so weird !
he's cute but he has a weird/creepy smile ... but i kinda like it ... how weird ... hmmm
ANYWAY !
I'm sitting in chick-fal-a like i always do . in the corner looking at my laptop writing all this down because i need to keep my mind off of depressing things .
(by the way some really hot guy just walked in ... hehehe and i can stare at him just for the fun of it .... red hair , gray ripped shirt ... old ripped shorts ... dannnngggg hehehhe)
So i thank you . All of you .
and i thank thing damn blog company ! hahahha i would feel a little more dead if i didn't have it ^_^
---------
Bekca <3
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